Four years ago, I published Discordia, my gift to the Goddess. I’ll have something for her next year on the five year anniversary. For now, a poem for my beloved Goddess…
For Discordia, On Her Day
Today, I eat hot dogs
I eat them with the buns
Discordia tells me not to
*&^% HER! SHE CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
ALL HAIL ERIS!
Eat a hot dog for Eris today. Or don’t!
The start of the fifth month of the year! Discordia Day is fast approaching and you know what that means…
JUST FOUR MORE DAYS
‘TIL YOU CAN PRE-ORDER
HOUSES OF THE BLOODED!
In other news, I’ll be celebrating Discordia Day the same way I always do. It’s a tradition on Discordia’s most sacred and holy day that we eat hot dogs and apples, of course (with or without buns, depending on your orthodoxy). So, I’ll be having a hot dog grill party on Monday night. We’ll grill hot dogs and eat apples. But no Discordian would ever–EVER–ignore her most prominent command…
NO DISCORDIAN SHALL
TURN DOWN ANY DARE
ON MY MOST SACRED
AND HOLY DAY.
Therefore, I shall do as my Goddess commands. On May 5th, I shall turn down no dare offered to me. Of course, it must be given to me in person
. Can’t just shout it out over the phone or through the intartubes. No, siree daddy. The dare must be given in person
(Other caveats apply as well. I won’t do anything that will harm another human being, animal or myself. I also won’t humiliate another human being or animal, but I have no qualms about humiliating myself.)
Hopefully, other Discordians will follow in my stead.
This is our day, brothers and sisters! Let us not dismiss it as we dismiss other holy days. Do as I say and be yourselves! Celebrate Discordia’s Day with pride and honor and chocolate sea monkeys!
Discordia Day approaches! Do you know where your dignity is?
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