I was at Smitty’s birthday party. (You know Smitty, don’t you? Everyone knows Smitty.) Mr. Foster was there, practicing Kung Fu. 

(In case you don’t remember: Jessie Foster knows drunken Kung Fu. In fact, he only knows Kung Fu when he’s drunk.)

A game of rubber band war had broken out. Mr. Foster’s belly was cherry red from all the rubber bands struck against him. In fact, he wasn’t even fighting back. He was accepting each and every strike, then smiling. He would say, "Nope. I’m not drunk enough. I can still feel it." He would then proceed to drink more.

Soon, there was no more room on Mr. Foster’s belly, so everyone moved to striking him on his back, which quickly became just as cherry red as his belly. And with each strike, he lamented, "Nope. I’m not drunk enough. I can still feel it."

And so, when there was no more room on his belly or his back, we moved to his chest. Soon, his chest was just as cherry red as his back and his belly. And with each strike, he lamented, "Nope. I’m not drunk enough. I can still feel it."

And then the party noticed there was no more room on his back or his belly or his chest to test Mr. Foster’s inebriation.

And so, Mr. Foster dropped his pants.

The Legend of Jessie Foster: Rubber Bands

Take 25% off the 7th Sea standard Core Rulebook & Pirate Nations with code PIRATES5—now through Monday! Dismiss